Tuesday, August 1, 2017

One Bad Ass Thing Tonya Evinger *Didn't* Do At UFC 214 That Everybody's Ignoring

Best I can tell, everybody is ignoring this detail, and I won't have it.

Last I posted, I was bitching about how the UFC execs hadn't signed Tonya Evinger.

Well, the bastards finally did it, and it happened just the way you'd want it to - because the fuckers needed her to come save their asses and fight on the fucking card against no other than Cris "Cyborg" Justino.

It's like Cyborg is a ghost made of iron and protein bars and every-damn-body else is a colossal pussy, so who you gonna call?

Tonya Evinger, that's who.


So anyway, just as she was set to fight another battle for Invicta, all of a sudden I look on the Twitter and BAM! there's the news that she's signed to the UFC.

Cue me flipping the fuck out for about two months.

Because all this coincides with some pretty major life changes that I've been making, and continue to make, thanks to watching Tonya train on a medieval torture device (nah, really it was a Isophit exercise thingy), and getting called out and put into my feelings about being a lazy little tubby cakes.

ANYway, so she's in the UFC, thankgodfinally, and she's fighting an iron protein bar.

UFC 214 went down this past weekend, and it didn't go down the way I wanted it to, but

HERE'S THE DETAIL, I'M ABOUT TO GET TO IT HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES.

All during the build up to the fight, I had this Burning Question That I Dare Not Ask, and that question was,

Will she get her hair did?

Because about 100% of these women fighters go get their hair cornrowed until their scalps are about to actually split wide open, or else they have really short hair.

And I was wondering, what with this being the UFC, and all the pressure I'm sure she was getting to do things differently or be different or act different or FUCK EVEN TELL A REPORTER HOW DIFFERENT IT WAS BECAUSE THEY ASKED HER THAT ABOUT A THOUSAND TIMES, if Tonya might get her hair pulled out of her head for this fight.

But fuck no.

No.

Everybody People who are cool and in the know have been saying what an "OG" fighter she is, and unphased, and real, and ya'll the hair is part of it.

One of the many awesome takeaways from UFC 214 is that Tonya stayed Tonya.

While I was watching the fight, 3 strange-o's came up and started chatting MMA with me. I didn't have time to school them on some shit, so I just ignored their asinine remarks for the most part until one of them said something about Evinger's "all over the place hair."

I kept my eyes on the fight, but I grinned and said, "Yeah, I love it."

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