Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Dear Jergens: Stop it.

Apparently at least one person in your organization believes, and has managed to convince a substantial party of others, that a great majority of women are interested in obtaining the beauty equivalent of leprosy, rendering them social outcasts, shunned even by women they once counted as friends, hence this commercial.

Jergens, you have been mislead about women, and I would like to disabuse you of your current notions.

I do not, in point of fact, upon swiping my mouth with lipstick, stare into the mirror, smile with an evil grimace, glasp my hands together with perverted joy and declare,

"Ah! I'm beautiful! Now all my friends will hate me and ask me to sit elsewhere when we meet up for lunch! I will steal their glory like my ancestors before me sucked life from babes!"

And this is not because my lipstick doesn't work.

No, Jergens, women do not generally consider jealousy a benefit of beauty, no matter how often the industry tries to shove this down our throats. Generally, we wish to acquire more friends, more intimates, more kindred spirits, not lose them. Like pretty much every other human on earth.

So please stop your ridiculous campaign based on wrong, ludicrous, and might I add hurtful ideas about women.


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