Because she is ruling the national advertising campaign market for actresses right now.
Here's one commercial of many that she has appeared in, for varying products/businesses:
Has anybody seen her in anything else? A television program? A movie?
Is she an actress? A comedian? An opera singer?
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHO THIS WOMAN IS.
My OCD can't take it.
She tortures me.
If she were in a movie, I could simply search for information about the movie and most likely get my answer, along with a Wikipedia article detailing her hometown, marital status and a general listing of her body of work.
I don't even need all that. I just want to know how she is such a boss peddler for everyday household objects.
HOW DID SHE BECOME THE COMMERCIAL QUEEN OF AMERICA?
p.s. - My tiddlywinks tell me she's a comedian.
[UPDATE!]: Thanks to a friend with super-power OCD and superior search skills (like a mother fucking blue tick hound, this guy), I now know the identity of this superhero commercial woman. She is unmasked. She is Amy French. AND SHE IS EVERYTHING I HOPED SHE WOULD BE. Including, as my super-sensitive tiddlywinks suspected, a comedian, though she doesn't stress that aspect as much on her website. (She has a website!!) And she actually is, as I described her, a boss - see here. Allow me just to say this: I love her. You will love her, too. Go love her.