Saturday, July 26, 2014

What are THESE?!?! (Help me win the Pulitzer!)

Scroll to the end of the post for the UPDATE!

I stumbled out the door with Harley this morning before I could really think clearly.

But I came to attention pretty fast because outside there was a wonderment that had happened some time between Harley's Last Chance to Doodie and her morning urination:

They look like little one-ply tissues that have been placed on the bush.

Or like a fairy carefully pulled apart two-ply tissues and arranged them.

Like the shrubbery has a cold, or a fairy's Christmas Tree of Sadness,
or Miss Havishrub.

I'd taken Harley back in to go and get my actual camera instead of my phone, because my actual camera has all these fancy-dancy features which turned out to be NOT HELPFUL AT ALL, either because I am inept and don't understand how to work it (unlikely) or because MY CAMERA IS A BASTARD (this).

But anyway, I managed to get some investigative reporting photos that I figure will get me into the National Geographic pretty soon:

I got closer....

and closer.....(see something starting to come into view there?)

...see that? That's dangerous.  I am literally putting my life on the line for National Geographic.

Check out the framing, the detail, the centering.  What is the highest award available for photography?  Are we talking Pulitzer? Could I win a Pulitzer?

Look at that damn beast.  Look at those legs! Look at that sinister little round, brown body full of the insect parts of its cousins!!!

Finally, I caught this next picture, which I consider a work of art.  I call it "Web as Hurricane Storm."  Check your local galleries for announcement of its tour:

I see this, don't you?:

Also, look how spiffy and professional I am with my operating system's photo editor.  It's called "Paint," which further validates my status as an artist, by the way.  (Text says: "Eye of the Storm!!!)

Note: If anyone would like to help me identify what manner of spiders these are, that would be very helpful as I am sure it would be of interest to the editors at National Geographic.  Thanks!

[UPDATE!]: My awesome writer friend Adam Steele let me know that these creatures are funnel weaver spiders!  It's amazing what fiction writers know.  And how helpful they can be.  As opposed to poets like myself who generally, as a species, hiss when approached.  Writer friend for the win! Thank you, Adam!  Further update:  I have not (yet) heard from National Geographic or the Pulitzer committee. 

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