|Why'd you kick me in the face like that?|
But she didn't understand. Because she doesn't talk English.
|You aren't going to do it again are you?|
But, I like to think if we could talk English with each other, the conversation would actually go like this:
*muffled face-kicking noise*
Me: Oh my gosh! Molly!
Molly: BITCH! the fuck is wrong with you?!
Me: I didn't know you were --
Molly: You kicked me in the face, you fucking cow!
Me: I'm so sorry, honey...
Molly: Fat ass size 9 feet. Have you seen your shoes lately? Your feet are expanding like continents after the ice age. What is wrong with you? Can you not contain them? And those corns!! Jesus!
Me: I'm....I'm sorry....*aghast, starting to tear up*....I can't find shoes wide enough...
Molly: No one's ever going to marry you. *curling her paws underneath her chest* Ever.
Me: I'm sorry...
Molly: Shut up. I'm going back to sleep now.
|My sweet kitty.|