Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Sam Goes to the Vet, then I Close Us All into the Bathroom Together because there's a Tornado Coming

First, Sam.

If you read previous posts, then you know I have a little litter-eater on my hands.  Also, he has a bald spot.  Dutifully, I took him to the vet, and $157.00 American dollars later, he was cleared for feline AIDS, leukemia and heartworms (meaning, he doesn't have those things), given a shot of antibiotic and a cone collar to wear around his head like some sort of cat idiot.  Also, now he has a larger bald spot due to the shaving. 

But!...But!  Did you catch that?!  A cone collar!  Commence obligatory picture of my cat wearing a cone collar...

Precious.
Additionally, I've learned that if you would like to engage in some good, old-fashioned, wholesome family fun, you can gather around and watch a cat try to lick itself with a collar around its neck.  The collar is invisible, and he goes through the same licking motions as normal cats, licking the inside of the collar instead of actual fur.  I have not figured out whether this is an action that he acknowledges is a coping device or if, because the cone is see-through, he actually thinks he is in fact licking his actual self.  Regardless, I now manually rake my fingers through his fur, grooming him the best I can.  He sheds like crazy, I can't keep up, and I eagerly await the day a little over a week from now when he will hopefully have his collar removed at a follow-up visit and can resume responsibility for his own baths. 
 
The vet could only guess at the cause of his consuming cat litter.  She sort of shrugged and suggested "Behavioral?" with both a vocal and a facial question mark at the end. 
 
I think I have an idea why Sam developed this nervous, stress-response behavior, and I think it is this:
 
 
Molly.
Molly, my other cat.  She only acts hateful and ugly around Sam, who is scared of her, and apparently fear-behavior brings out predator-behavior in certain animals. Maybe all animals.  But I learned this from the "My Cat From Hell" show that I don't watch anymore because I had to cut back on cable because of Poverty.  Still, while I was watching it, I learned that as long as Sam behaves like a victim, he is at risk of being treated as such by my other, evil cat.  I wish there was some sort of self-esteem therapy I could impart to Sam, but I'm not entirely sure how to do that.  Also, I have wisdoms to learn regarding this issue myself.  Blind leading blind. 
 
It's a cruel world, Sam. 
 
Speaking of, mother nature can also be a scary, ugly bitch, and last night we were under a sudden tornado warning for much of the evening.  Thunderstorms and even tornado watches I take in stride, but as soon as we were under a tornado warning, I freaked out a little bit.  In case you're wondering, the conversion rate of my freak out versus normal person freak out is about freak out to the nth degree times a trillion.  Tornados are at the top of the list of the first 5,000 things in the world I'm afraid of, which also includes tall buildings, oceans, the Grand Canyon, most sports, drug dealers and society in general.  


So, I gathered up all the things I have in my life that are important to me and we went and sat in the bathroom, which, as I know, is where they say you're supposed to go if there's a tornado coming.  They didn't say anything about whether or not it would do any good to be in there if you're on the second floor of the building, but I do what I can.  Here are some photos from that event:

Molly freaking the fuck out, with Harley and Sam on either side.

Harley wondering when we are going to leave the small space with all the hair products.

Molly assuring the others that she can go Wolverine and open the door if she wants to.

Harley saying, "Really, mom? Why are we in here?  Let us out." with Sam in the background.

Turns out there was not a tornado in my immediate area, meaning, in my neighborhood, but I still feel justified in gathering every living thing in my apartment (except the plants) and locking us up in the bathroom for half an hour.  I consider it a drill, and a reassuring reminder of the capacity I have for care, love and mothering.  Not, mind you, of being hysterical.  There were clouds.  There were clouds and warnings.  Warnings!!!

After, I took Harley for a walk, and there was a lovely rainbow.  I didn't get a good picture of it.

Here, though, is another picture of evil Molly looking like a satan goat head:

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Have no fear Amber and family for Barkley the "big man" of the neighborhood will protect you from all that you are scared of.....just let me get him out from under his "crate" first !!!!!