Sunday, March 10, 2013

The Love of My Life

On a recent television show (one of those crime dramas that I wait until too late in the evening to watch and then try to go to sleep rattled and scared, with images of blood-streaked walls and carpeting in my head), one of the characters used a phrase that is all too familiar: "...the love of my life...". 

And I instantly thought of one particular person. 

And because I'm not the kind of girl who has just one thought and leaves it alone, I started asking myself questions and analyzing the concept of "the love of my (or anyone's) life."  Like this:

What constitutes the Love of One's Life?  How is The Love of One's Life determined?

Me thinking about the love of my life.  I'm even in the thinker's pose.
Is it the first person you loved?  The last (meaning final) person you loved?  

Is it the person you spent the most time with together in a relationship? (In my case, certainly not!)

Is it the person you loved the most?

What if you meet The Love of Your Life, and for whatever reason, excluding your own death, you only spend a brief amount of time with them?  What then?  What about any other loves that come after them?  How are you supposed to feel about them, the lesser loves of your life?  How are the lesser loves supposed to feel??

I realize that we as a society put love on an upward trajectory.  We are moving up a hill toward The One, past all the not-ones, toward the true Love of Our Life that we will get and keep.  Clearly, this idea calms and cares for our broken hearts when we have a break-up  - we can tell ourselves, "Well, he/she wasn't the one..." pick up our skirts, and keep trudging up the hill.  Kiss a lot of frogs, and all that. Is it true, though?

What if you meet the person you believe to be the Love of Your Life - but you don't get to be with them?  And not because you die.  You keep living, maybe even they keep living, but you don't get to be together, for whatever reason?

What. the fuck. then?

You're still alive.  You're lonely.  You don't want to be lonely.  "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."  But what do you tell the people you come across? 

Heyyyyyyy....soooo...I'm like, probably forever in love with this other person?  But, if you, like, want to be my second choice, like, Not Quite the Love of My Life But I'll Take You, I'll go ahead and do that because I'm lonely.  If you want. 

Yeah.  I don't feel like that's going to work. 

But seriously.  What does one do? 

Read this story and then watch the video of two people who were the loves of each other's lives for a while, parted for an even longer while, then one day sat across from each other again. Love is powerful. 

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