Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Rinse, Repeat

Here's a little script for ya, completely hypothetical:

Me:  Can I get ya'll anything else today?
Fat Ass Yankee:  Huh, yeah, how 'bout a million dollars?  HAR! HAR! HAR!

Me: Can I get ya'll anything else today?
Bitch-Ass Mother with Unruly Toddlers:  Ha, yeah, how 'bout a million dollars?

Me:  Can I get ya'll anything else today?
Urban Diva with Eyeball Rolls for Days:  Uh, yeah, how 'bout a million dollars?

Me: Can I get ya'll anything else today?
Uncomfortably Flirtateous Cowboys from Out of Town:  Heh heh, yeah, how 'bout a million dollars?

Me: Can I get ya'll anything else today?
Finicky Woman For Whom Nothing is Quite Right:  Heh, yeah, how 'bout a million dollars?

Me: Can I get ya'll anything else today?
Matriarch of Family Who Sends Me Back to the Kitchen Over 1,000 Times for Small Things: Um, yeah, how 'bout a million dollars?

Me: Can I get ya'll anything else today?
Gross Middle-Aged Man with Pork Fat Still on the Front of His Shirt: Ha ha ha!  Yeah, how 'bout a million dollars?

Me: Can I get ya'll anything else today?
Businessman who is too busy conducting business to allow me to do my job: What's that? Oh. No. Wait.  Yeah, how 'bout a million dollars?

Me: Can I get ya'll anything else today?
Every Other Person Who Sits an Ass Down at One of My Tables: Yeah, how 'bout a million dollars?

So.
...
...

Did that get old?  Yeah?

Now you know how I feel. 


1 comment:

sw said...

Ermahgerd. Having a flashback to the (completely heterosexual) Gregg Araki film, "The Doom Generation".

"That'll be six dollars and sixty-six cents."

Heidi Fleiss was my favorite.

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