Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Buttholes and Whores

Buttholes,

When you intend to leave the excess funds as a tip for your server, DON'T MAKE HER BRING YOU CHANGE.  Especially do not let her come to the table, inform you that she's going to have to make a trip to the bar with your Three Separate Checks, then walk off to hunt down someone to break your ten dollar bills so that she can bring you your one dollar damn bills and coins that you're going to just leave on the fucking table like a giant "Fuck you!" you fucking dick heads I wish I could shoot those damn dimes into your mother fucking ears and squeeze your nose 'til they squirt back out your eye sockets.

Whores,

You bitches are so scandalous.  I can't believe how ya'll just poured all over the sweaty FedEx man when he came in to deliver a har-har PACKAGE, the both of you with your repeatedly offering him something to drink while he stood there and sweated like a manly man-man.  If the kitchen manager had caught you, he would've blown up to holy hell but you bitches didn't care, did you?   No the hell you did not.  Dirty, dirty bitches.  Your asses couldn't trip over to the drink station fast enough to get him a soda.  I bet you wrote your phone number somewhere on the cup, didn't you?  Whores.

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