Wednesday, January 26, 2011

They Want Us To Smile

So, Dirty Bastard Kitchen Manager mosies up to us this morning to tell us that a customer had complained that their server wasn't smiling, so we should make sure that we're "You know, smiling and being nice and friendly, and stuff.  Being friendly and, you know, sincere, and all."

So even though I'm not speaking to Dirty Bastard Kitchen Manager right now due to an unrelated incident that I won't discuss here, I put down my parsley-chopping knife and ask him, rhetorically, "Dirty Bastard Kitchen Manager, do you want us to be friendly or sincere? Which is it?"  Another server standing behind me sort of breathe-snorts.  DBKM asks, "Can't you be both?"  I say "No."  The conversation ends there because Sweet Pea comes to tell me that I've been sat, so I'm off to practice being sincerely friendly to these bastard-ass guests.

And this is what happens, I shit you not:

Me, walking up to the table, smiling: "Hey. How're ya'll doing today?"

Old dude with oxygen tank, which, from all appearances, he traded his teeth to purchase: "I'm doing as many women as I can!  You wanna be next???"

Me, not smiling: "No sir.  I do not.  What can I get you to drink?"

I rest my fucking case.  On the floor.  Actually, I bury it under the ground, that's how much it is rested.  My case rests in peace.  RIP, case. 

And the day just coasted right on down the hill to hell from there.  We didn't have enough servers scheduled to begin with, and one of the servers scheduled didn't show up.  We had a couple parties going on, and I just got my ass slammed.  Then we ran out of ice - of ICE!  We ran out of ice.  (The ice maker has been broken for a while - see previous post where I mention the manager giving it an enema to try and make it work.) Very essential, is ice.  (I wouldn't work, by the way, if I had been given an enema.  I would protest.)

I got crappy tips because I wasn't giving my tables much attention.  I wasn't giving any one table much attention because I had too many tables all together.  It was all I could do just to get their orders in. 

It was just a shitty day.  Ass-slamming enema jokes aside. 

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