Do not be so arrogant as to think that your simple brain can understand us. We chose to pee on the Xena Warrior Princess gym bag and that is all you need to know. Yes, it was a mess for you to clean up, and yes it spilled onto the floor (you saw the floor first - you thought that was all there was - ha! - that would've been logical, right? For us to just pee on the floor? Nay!) and even some of it onto one of the plates from which we eat our pate every morning, which we understand is befuddling for you - why would we pee on or even near our own plate? - and maybe it's even a slap in the face considering how quickly you feed us every morning, we know its the very first thing you do after getting dressed and putting your hair in a ponytail. We sent Ophelia to the top of the stairs this morning to stare at you while you were doing that last bit. Usually she only meets you half-way up to start meow-screaming.
Look. It may have had something to do with Xena, but then again maybe not.
You don't even know which one of us it was.
The Superior Beings Living in the House