Saturday, September 12, 2009

Toilet Training

I've learned to live with a fair amount of gastrointestinal troubles the same way I've learned to deal with other facets of dysautonomia. GERD (basically, chronic acid reflux) is one part of it, also running to the bathroom in the middle of a meal. Generally, I have to be careful with my stomach which, generally, I am not.

After sugar sickness yesterday morning, I decided to have a better breakfast of eggs (protein!), bacon and grits. I realize that isn't exactly a veggie omelet with whole wheat toast, but it's something.

Shortly after that, I spent what I estimate is - several trips totaled up - over an hour in the bathroom. I thought it was the butter on my grits, possibly the grease from the bacon, but I realized it probably also had something to do with the (again, estimating) 40 or so almonds, most likely more, that I consumed yesterday, most of that before bed during the nightly Seroquel Munchies Episode. Turns out almonds are useful in the relief of constipation. Imagine the affect of a super dose of almonds on a person who is not necessarily constipated.

Let me tell you that there is no toilet paper soft enough.

I started to go to work, but when I got there I went straight to the bathroom and it was there that I decided that this, also I, wasn't going to work. I went back home.

After several more trips to the porcelain god, and laying on my side in between, I started to feel better a couple hours later, but it was pointless to go to work at that point because more than likely business was slowing down to a crawl and they were phasing people off the floor - I wouldn't've really made any money - also I go in for my dinner shift in a few hours anyway.

So to fill my time I've been doing some housework, ironed my work shirts (I never do that; I'm supposed to), listened to a little NPR. I should've also worked on my short story, my novel, gone to the library, but I didn't quite have enough time for that.

I'm frustrated and worried because I can't really afford to lose a shift, I can't afford it at all, in fact, but this will teach me. I've got to be more careful with my stomach. I've got to be more careful with my body in general because I'm essentially living with an ongoing setback in that respect.

It makes me want to throw out all my junk food, anything with sugar or fat. As I was laying down willing my bottom to feel better (TMI? Too bad.) I watched a couple ride by on their bicycles in my neighborhood (beautiful weather outside, cool and sunshine), with their fancy sporty bicyle-rider Lance Armstrong outfits (essentially, tight spandex) that say they are serious about it. It inspired me for a brief moment and I had visions of myself completing dedicated half-mile sprints every morning, eating a vegetarian diet and achieving and keeping for the rest of my life a flat stomach and overall greatly (outstandingly) improved physical and mental health. Willpower, where are you? Initiative, where are you? Motivation?

Almonds aren't bad, I was trying, but obviously I over did it. I find it fascinating that, just yesterday, there was a woman on Tyra (a doctor or something, she had written a book) that was warning us with the adage of how too much of a good thing (green tea, orange juice were examples from the audience) can be a bad thing.

Messages from the Universe are coming in droves lately.

Oh, wait - I have to use the bathroom.

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