Monday, March 24, 2008

Catch-22 Nausea

Today didn't start out so bad.

Last night/early this morning I learned that the trick to making the Ambien work longer than 6 hours was to, if I woke up, not to look at the clock or otherwise move, but just to, for heaven's sakes, keep my eyes shut and my body still and pray to go back to sleep for a little while. I finally got up around 7am, waited around a little longer before eating.

Lately, I feel nauseated first thing in the morning, sort of like that feeling you get when it's been too long since you've eaten and you're starting to get sick, but I don't have an appetite for anything - the thought of food makes me sick. It's a catch-22 sort of nausea - I'm nauseated if I don't eat, but the thought of food makes me nauseated. I actually wasn't nauseated this morning, and was feeling pretty good about that, especially since I had some errands/chores/business to take care of today. So I had a bagel with cream cheese and got started looking at what I needed to do, called the unemployment office.

But then I got nauseated and really weak while riding in the car to the post office. I had planned on going to the doctor's office on the same trip in order to sign the form to have my medical records transfered to a new doctor's office, but I had to abort that mission and go back home for a few hours.

I rested for a little while, then tried again to go out and complete the medical records task, both at the doctor's office and the hospital, from my ER visit. I got both done, but felt that awful catch-22 nausea the whole time.

Came home, ate some chicken, immediately had an upset stomach. I ate some more chicken and took an Ativan. I'm not really anxious, just don't feel good, but maybe the Ativan will make me not care that I don't feel good, eh?

The only thing I'm really anxious about lately is wondering what is wrong with me, when/if I will feel better, and other issues caused by and/or surrounding my feeling lousy.

I'm feeling okay right now though, and hope that I feel good tomorrow, because I really would like to see M.

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