* names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent
I was scared to open my classroom door this morning. Anytime you have surrendered your class to a substitute teacher, anything could happen. It wasn't too bad, but there were a few items missing, including nearly all of my pens, a pencil sharpener, and the hall pass.
Ms. Special Ed Teacher stopped by my room before school this morning, and I took the opportunity to ask her about Robert, who says that he can't read. She confirmed that he is in fact illiterate. Wonderful.
During 1st block, Nathan repeatedly banged his head on his desk. (When I saw him again during my lunch duty, he had a mark on his forehead from it. He told me that his step-sister had said something to hurt his feelings, also he had started his ADHD meds, which Dustin chimed in can make you depressed, thus the head-banging. Dustin starts his meds in two weeks when he goes to the doctor. Wonderful.)
I couldn't get anyone to shut up today. They just have diarrhea of the mouth, constantly and loudly blurting out stupid comments. It's chaos. Even some of the other students get annoyed by it and start calling out "Shut up!" Jacob called out "Shut up!" and ended up in an argument with Ethan, who told him to "Wait 'till recess." (So ridiculous.) I held them both after class to talk to them about it, "No threats in my classroom, blah blah blah," but I don't know that it did any good, might've even made the situation worse by calling more attention to something that could've dissolved on its own.
Ms. Teacher stopped by and told me about a short video they were running today to advertise for the book fair next week. A video to take up 15 minutes of class time? Yes, please. An author introduced her book and said something along the lines of "I really think this is a great book." Hannah yelled out, "That's cuz you wrote it!"
Bite my tongue. Bite my tongue. Must not retort. Must be professional.
Brian aggravated Brad so much that I had to move him to a corner in the back of the room for his own safety. Brad has a bad temper.
Mr. Assistant Principal stopped by during my planning. Welcome-back-good-to-have-you-glad-we-didn't-have-to-hire-another-teacher-blah-blah-blah-don't-forget-your-deadlines-for-the-million-things-you-have-to-do-blah-blah-blah. No pressure.
I didn't even check the dozens of e-mails I have. I would've exploded into billions of gooey little bits all over the walls of the classroom. It was just too much to deal with today.
There's a new book in the faculty bathroom:
"God's Little Instruction Book for Teachers"
I dropped my tape dispenser and broke it.
I need dry erase markers.
Thank Goddess it's Friday.